United Kingdom Part 1 - Landing, Shearing and The Only Way Is Essex

WAZZA'S EUROPEAN ADVENTURES

FIRST ONE ON EUROPEAN SOIL

G'day all! How are ya? I'm pretty amazed, tired, and still wanting more. I've just landed really... still bouncing away from that landing! I have also realised that my little airport that I've seen in W.A. has really nothing on a 'fly one in @ 0', the next @ 28' will be landing, we'll be on the next one after that' in a minute!

I landed in Heathrow airport, I think it was the 14th or 15th morning, and my cousin Sarah, whom I hadn't seen in almost 31 years, is there with a jumper or jacket covering her must have been cold hands. The classic "You alright?" straight out of her mouth. I couldn't believe I was actually on European soil for the first time in that long. After a big long hug (we used to get along so well when I stayed in Clapham Common for 4 months or so, we we're 10 and 9) she talked and whilst I followed her to the car. 

After getting in, and remembering what the traffic was like way back then in 1985 (the year Back to the Future was released, the year the Achilles Lauro was hijacked by terrorists, and the first mobile phone call was made!) we zoomed out of the car park into traffic, and into a roundabout, then another, then a very thin road (we had to mount the curb), then another roundabout after a small straight, then guess what? A really really long motorway! It's straights and roundabouts.

I did remember a lot of roundabouts, but I can appreciate the fact that they are used all of the United Kingdom, as there is a much greater population here, and there are not just cities with their suburbs, there are villages, and hamlets, and other small types of areas. And these are scattered, so you'll see (via motorway) small patches of fields and farming with constant exits to places. Chelmsford, Harlow, Hatfield and Cheshunt are all around the places that I'm first staying.

Sarah and her husband Terry (and their two sons Louis and Benjamin) had kindly put me in the local for a couple of nights, and that's exactly what I was looking forward to - Old English hospitality and a warm and cosy atmosphere at a place of bard and lodging, namely the Full English.

THE COCK INN

So here I am... In a REAL English pub! And what a name too... THE COCK INN... Seriously... The Cock Inn... I'm still can't believe it. I know where I get the prankster blood from... I still haven't stopped laughing.

Anyway, I was in here for two days. I got meet Terry and the kids just for a couple of hours, and then they dropped me off to the "establishment". The Cock Inn emblazoned on the front, I chuckled as I loitered in. Terry got me setup in a fine little room to myself, and considering that I may not have that much privacy in the future, I took advantage of the ensuite, had a shower and a shave. Decided to keep on the beard of Satan on for a couple of days or weeks more, who knows.

So first thing was first - a beer, and unfortunately a warm one - but still needed to have a true pint. Got downstairs, slipped, regained my balance only to hit my head on the roof support, but not just the support, the support that actually had a sign saying "mind your head", whilst trying to celebrate my fortunes for not falling down the stairs only moments earlier.

Such genius. 

Anyway... Got to the bar rubbing the now what seemed to be a golf ball size bump on my head, and ordered after some careful consideration, I went for a Stella Artois. And it was cold! Yay! Fantastic. I was in a pub that had tv's in the right position, the local around the parts had his own bar glass and actual seat in the pub. Actually met the gentleman over the next two nights. Found out who the bar staff and the owner Billy was. THE COCK INN SHEARING is definitely a true English experience. 

I got there the day of one of the Euro 16 games. I know it wasn't either the Welsh or English game, but I think this was the actual day one of the Irish teams were playing), so there was a few people in the pub watching the game. I got to know one of the other locals (who I found out down the track they were all kind of related as the bloke behind the bar was married to this fellows daughter or something like that) and found out he was a supporter of my team - Manchester United - and that he lived 2 doors down. I asked him about his place as his was quite a nice place, but the whole of Shearing seemed to be lovely. Loud bunch of lads, especially as their team scored. It was a whole lot of dreary squabbling if it was the "other" team. I had a great meal there, had a mingle with them during the match. Staff were very accommodating, so much so that I decided to give them a high rating on my tripadvisor account!. Found out that the lovely young girl behind the bar had relies in Perth! One day in and Kevin Bacon will be next. I went to bed quite early after the long flight from Hong Kong and the bed was rather too much to fight. Face first on the bed, bouncing to a comfortable position with my head slightly off the side of the bed to breath, and that was about it...

THE ADDITIONS!

First thing I hear is a bird that I have never heard before, as it pretty much inside my window; I left in open the night before as I was feeling rather warm. Quick shower and then a cigarette, and I'd be ready for breakfast, the Full English Breakfast. I was wanting to devour one immediately, stat, NOW!!

Only to realise that it was 4:50am in the morning, and the sun had been up for the last half hour

TV - here come the fancy and not-so-fancy voices and characters of morning tv in the United Kingdom. Not as sensationalised as U.S. or even Australian TV, but proper use of the English language and it's dialects. 

My word old bean, it's rather posh!

And here they are. The female morning presenters. The opposite of Kylie Gillies, Sonia Kruger and Tracy Grimshaw... Bless. 

And yep, they're all stunners, and some with that English accent (Scottish and Irish are the ones that make you follow you like when Mutley or Dino from The Flintstones got the smell of dinner coming through the hole in their rock domicile. Yeah Irish or Scottish girls with red hair is like my kryptonite. I'm useless. After a couple of hours of this, I jumped into the shower, and got ready for brekkie.

Got down and got my FULL ENGLISH. And what an English. The full arrangement of sides as well as the classic black and white puddings, bacon, eggs, sausage, baked beans, mushrooms and tomatoes, and I had mine with a flat white. After about 5 mins, I was licking the plate and offering to clean for breakfasts like that for a few weeks!

I had a wonderful dinner with my cousin and her family. And watched yet another game of the Euro 16 games. After one dinner, we walked about 150m to the main shops in the area, the Water Gardens, and went for a wander around, with Terry showing me the shops and things to do in the area.

It was still 9:32pm and the sun was still high in the sky. Little did I know but about 30 mins later it had turned pitch black. I didn't know this, because Terry gave me a lift back to the Cock Inn and I went upstairs and must have passed out...

THE FULL ENGLISH